Hello! This is my comment wall. It is not a real wall, but has all the portability and impermanence that a regular wall does not, and this is a thing to be thankful for.
This is a wall made of brick. Image courtesy Wikimedia
Hey Claire! I actually chose your storybook to read because I have read some of your stories before and they were really entertaining and different and, now that I’ve read your introduction to your storybook, I am happily thrilled to see you’ve created another entertaining story! I absolutely love the direction you’ve chosen for your storybook! I don’t know if you watch it, but it seems very Doctor Who-ish or like something akin to an old show I watched called “Sliders”. When reading through your storybook I really didn’t notice a whole lot of grammar mistakes, and I think by reading it aloud you could fix the ones I did see. Some of them are just things like words that are missing or the sentence is just a tad bit off kilter. I think paragraph three is where I saw the most problems with flow and grammar. However overall I really, absolutely enjoyed reading your introduction and I can’t wait to read more!!
Hey there! Briana took the words out of my mouth. I watched Doctor who earlier today and was thinking about this as I read. Growing up I read the Magic Tree House books. This storyline was directly in line with this. I love the other worlds types. It took me a second to understand that the portal didn't go back to the same place. Did she just run off with Elliot because she wanted to go on an adventure? I love your writing style. I can not wait to read the rest of the stories and see how they turn out. I'm interested to see how you pull in the epics of india characters and storyline. Did you pull from any in your introduction? That's one thing I was wondering about is who you were drawing from in this introduction. The flow is up beat and fast. I feel as if it is racing with her heart and keeping up with the buzzing of her mind which is excellent. I can't wait to see what kind of spots they get into traveling through the puddle portals.
First off, The theme of your page is great. I think the splashing photo and the theme of your site mends perfectly with the context the story. Your title acts as hook. It is very interesting and grabs the readers attention. Where did you get your idea from ? It reminds of some movie but I just cant think of the title. At first I thought of Narnia but I think its something else. the Ending of your introduction was great too. Mixing the Ramana epic with Romeo and Juliet plus your puddle twist is a very entertaining and creative idea. I clicked the link for Hello, Where Am I and It did not send me anywhere . It gave a request no found page. I do not know if it is on my end but you should fix the link. Also the splashing photo you used in your introduction lacked a link and a information
Your story book looks really good! It is so different and unique from the stories I have seen before and definitely grabs my attention. I really enjoyed reading your introduction and I liked how you related it to romeo and juliet. Your pictures are pretty cool and i love the layout you chose. Your introduction was captivating and easy to follow along. I am really looking forward to reading the rest of your story book. Great job so far!
Introduction: Hey Claire! I chose your storybook for my free choice! I was reading through several storybook titles and yours caught my attention! Let me just say that your introduction really caught my attention! I liked how there was mystery, yet I also knew the theme of your story. Time travel? That's creative! I want it to rain now so I can jump in puddles and travel to Italy (if only). I like how the characters are time traveling through puddles and meeting different characters from the Indian Epics. You also did a great job in portraying different personality traits in your characters. I can already tell that Elliot is going to be my favorite character. Having a sense of humor is always the way to go! You definitely left a great cliff-hanger! It made me sad that I couldn't read anymore! I wonder, will you be going more into depth for each Indian epic or will it just be your main characters encountering other characters? I guess I have to read more to find out. Trust me, I'll be back to read your stories!
I really like the different approach you took to formatting your blog. The overall aesthetics of it is beautiful and I like the scroll through method that you went with. Your writing for the introduction was fantastic! It was well-connected and read smooth like a novel. I had no confusion on your characters, the action in the scene or the three different settings that the action took place in. It very much has Dr. Who element to it, which I’m guessing might have been an inspiration to your blog. Having the puddles as portals to another world was a great device for time-traveling, but what happens if there’s no rain? I also hope you go back to the scene with Draupadi because it seemed to be picking up momentum before your two main characters left. It’s going to be fun to read how you’ve reinterpreted characters into Shakespearean storylines. Overall great job and I look forward to reading more!
Hi Claire. I want to start by saying you have done an awesome job on your Storybook as a whole. You can tell that you put forth some effort on this. I'm not going to lie, I was a little bit confused at first. But, this curiosity kept me reading, which is basically the goal of writing stories. You did a great job of putting a completely new twist on the stories. Time travel in movies and literature are something that have always interested me. It is one of the best ways to connect the readers to the particular past that you are telling the story about. I think you do a really good job of putting the reader into the setting of the story. Your layout of the site itself is really catchy too. I really like the fade you have going on. Awesome job!
Claire, I found your storybook site to be super interesting and neat looking! You have done an incredible job with creativity and organization. In fact, I found your site to be one of the best I have seen so far! When I first read your title, “Hello, When Am I?”, I was a little confused I will admit because I thought it was an incorrect use of grammar. However, when I learned in your introduction why you titled it that way, it made much more sense and I was able to fully see the picture behind the words. I thought the whole concept of jumping into the puddle on the sidewalk was really intriguing and it definitely had me hooked for the rest of your stories! I cannot wait to see what you end up writing for the rest of your storybook! Overall, you did a fantastic job. Keep up the good work!
This has to be my favorite storybook I have read so far, hands down! The title is very clever and thought provoking, it instantly drew me in and I felt obligated to continue with reading the story from there. Your use of dialogue is very fitting for this type of storytelling, it keeps things fast paced and action packed which is what you would expect from a character that is constantly traveling through time and getting in to new adventures. What I loved most about this story so far is the way you insert comedy every so often. You don't over do it and it doesn't come off as lame or anything, you did it in just the right way as to keep the reader more interested in reading. I found myself chuckling every so often, especially when you talked about the feelings one might experience when falling through a puddle in a nonchalant way. This is a really cool premise for a storybook because you can keep adding exciting new adventures along the way that never grow old or boring. I couldn't help but being reminded of Dr. Who while reading the introduction, which is one of my favorite shows by the way. You have definitely set up this story in a way that makes me want to come back to read more. I'm excited to see where this goes!
I choose to come back to your storybook because I love your writing style and you are a friend! I'm now looking forward to reading your next story. The one this week had so many goodies in it. Once I realized you were doing Romeo and Juliet, I thought how clever is that that you would intertwine the two story lines. I love the alterations that you had with the story. I can't wait to find out what is going on in the next story! I'll have to read along side with the story. I do a lot of writing with writing that lines up with the words. Of course all the pictures you choose are awesome too. I love the dynamics between the two characters. There is a good amount of mystery and interaction that provides for great story. His background is still a bit fuzzy which is great and makes me want to learn more about the time before the time traveling for them.
Claire, I'm back to read your storybook, and I loved it! The humor was so great that I literally laughed out loud in the Union which attracted disapproving stares. It was so worth it! I thought it was genius that you incorporated Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet into Rama and Sita's story. Believe it or not, I didn't even make that obvious connection. The way you emphasized an alternative solution to Sita's problem was too funy! No deaths, fake or real! That was priceless. I enjoy the character development also. I can easily visualize Elliot being a flirt. Siding with Sam on this one, flirty boys can be annoying! I'm curious if something will develop between them. Maybe?Your writing style really appeals to me also. There is no need for me to reread paragraphs for clarification because your sentence structure flows so smoothly. My favorite aspect of your writing style is the way you present your dialogue. Please maintain the humor! I'm excited to read about the conflict with Draupadi. As Arnold Schwarzenegger would say, "I'll be back!"
Hello Claire! You are an extremely good writer. I enjoyed reading your story very much. I like the concept of time travelling through puddles. It is a cool way to take modern characters back in time. You are extremely descriptive and explain every detail of your story. For example when you were talking about breathable shoes an image of Nike Free Runs came to my mind. I like how you described why the character was motivated to jump in the puddle. You must have put a lot of thought into each sentence of the story. Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite stories. It will be interesting to see how you integrate the epics we have read into your story. – Introduction Comments
Your first story is also good. Now I understand that you will be writing about several different epics that we have read. I like how this version of Romeo and Juliet ended happily. You also have good transitions into each story. –Story 1 Comments
Hey Claire! I would like to start off by saying that I have not seen a storybook like this. The way you formatted your stories and introduction are very unique. It really caught my attention. It made me want to read more. I also like how simple and clean it is. Your storybook in general is really clean and pretty. While reading you stories, I did not really notice any errors. You must have read your stories out loud or had a friend review, which is good! The breaks between you paragraph made sense. It made the story flow smoothly. It was not too choppy or anything. I really liked the images you included. Especially the image in your “Capulets and Montagues” story. What building is that? Where did you find it? It is so pretty. I want visit it. Good job Claire! I look forward to reading more your stories and posts.
Hey Claire! I chose to come back and read your storybook for extra credit because I knew it would be interesting and I again I wasn't disappointed!
I love that you chose to do a storyline where you take a story everyone knows and change the ending to be happy. The use of Romeo and Juliet as a segue into Sita and Rama's marriage was a great idea and I don't think I could have done it half as well as you did! I like that your characters attempted to fit into the timeline they were in and I still absolutely love the puddle idea. Not to mention that at the end of this latest story addition, you brought us back full circle to a place where one of the characters has already been. I think it's going to be a fantastic storybook! Thank you again Claire for making an awesome storybook and making me wish I had done something way cooler with mine!
I read the beginning of this storybook for my first time last week and loved the idea of it so much that I decided to come back for more this week! I thought it was so smart how you incorporated Romeo and Juliet into this story, and I also liked that the two time traveling main characters recognized the idea of Romeo and Juliet as well. It was really clever how you used the plot line of the Ramayana as a solution to the problems presented in the plot line of Romeo and Juliet. Once again, you managed to put the right amount of humor into the writing again and it really adds extra character and depth to your writing. I love it! These stories are so fun to read I think I will continue to read the whole thing and see how it progresses! I love how the end of each story always ends with an exciting cliff hanger that leads us in to next week.
Can I just say I absolutely adore your writing? I clicked on your storybook for my free choice. I am so glad I did! You had me hooked from the title. The format is clean and so professional, it is hard to believe it is a tumblr site (which makes me interested in learning more about tumblr). I love the way you have built the pages to make it look like a Shakespeare play. The stories were written so well! The introduction was so fun to read and the first story had me laughing as I read. It was a great touch to have Sam and Elliot very intent on avoiding a repeat of Romeo and Juliet. It was easy to read and you had the details placed beautifully to help the reader picture the context of the story. Keep up the good work and I cannot wait to read about their adventure with Draupadi!
Hi Claire! I always love reading your work. Your writing is really good! I love the layout of your story, the theme, pictures included and everything else. I read the introduction a few weeks and loved it! This week I read the first story you added and thought it was great! I like how it was written in Sita's point of view through Sam. Your storybook is very interesting and i love how you left the first story in suspense. This detail makes the reader want to come back and read what happens next. Overall great job again!
What an interesting introduction! I really think that this will suck the readers in. The paragraph spacing for the introduction was good because it led to the excitement of the story as “Sam” ran away. I am not sure how close you were to the word limit, but perhaps a bit more explanation could be used around the puddle jumping. The text and outline were easy to read and understand. The beginning of the story the word choice was good, but I am not sure on the word choice for the dialogue. The story is a good read. I particularly enjoyed the way you introduced the story by using the same sentence as the closing of the introduction. I feel that often times because this storybook is written over the span of several weeks that the continuity is at stake, but you seem to fix it with this choice. I like the crossing of Romeo and Juliet such a familiar love story will add to the story. I am glad you fixed the dialogue question from the introduction and again you chose to have continuity which I personally enjoy.
Hey Claire! This was a great story to read! I love how you smoothly combined the actual events of the Mahabharata with your own time traveling story for your main character! This time, the story was all about the gambling scene in the Mahabharata but this time, I like how Draupadi had a really strong character and sort of bossed Elliot and the main character around, and even told the poker players how things were going to happen inside of the saloon! I thought it was really smart and fun that you chose for the scene for the gambling to take place in to be an old saloon out in the west. That was so fitting since it seems like every time you watch an old western movie, there is always a scene where cowboys are playing poker in a saloon. Your choice of dialogue was also perfect for the scene and made it feel much more realistic. Well done, once again.
Hi Claire! I chose your storybook to read this week because when I was pulling several to choose from, yours stood out for many reasons. First of all, the layout of your storybook is fantastic. It is very aesthetically pleasing, and definitely caught my attention. I was impressed right off the bat, because I could never put mine together that nicely! Your introduction was great. I love the theme and thought it was super creative. You have great writing skills and definitely made me want to keep reading more. At the end of the introduction, I knew I wanted to read all of your stories to find out what happens. You stuck with some similarities to the original Mahabharata, while adding in your own twist and creating your own main character. I cannot wait to read more of your stories in the weeks to come. Keep up the great work!
Hi Claire! Once again, I think your storybook is absolutely awesome. This week I read your "Viva Las Pandavas" story. First off, the name of that story is great and it immediately caught my attention. The story of the Pandavas was the most interesting part of the Mahabharata, in my opinion, so I had a great time reading this. I thought setting the story in the Wild West was very fitting, as those old saloons are notoriously associated with gambling. I think that the whole theme of your storybook is going to allow some very interesting stories. Once again, it was very well written and kept me interested the entire time. Keep up the awesome work!
Hey there Claire! I'm back again, and I'm so happy to see that you posted another story! Is it a surprise that I thought it was so awesome? Because it was! The setting in the wild west was out of this world! I never in a million years thought that I would read an Indian epic in a western setting, but you pulled it off nicely! Elliot and the main character continue having an awesome dynamic relationship which i thoroughly enjoy. It was really interesting to read how you weaved in a western setting with the Pandavas gambling dilemma. The main character handled Texas hold 'em like a pro even though she was so nervous! I don't know what I would do in that situation. Your storybook continues to have a strong theme and character development. It makes me sad to think that your storybook is almost done! Don't stop writing!
I chose your Storybook for my free choice because I have decided it is my favorite one. I love the way you have been writing these stories paired with a song. I do have to ask how you are choosing these songs? Are these the songs that you normally listen to? I think Viva Las Vegas by Elvis is a great fit for this story.
Draupadi in this western theme was fantastic. I like how these Storybooks really highlight how differently the stories can be interpreted. There are so many stories that can come from just one original story. For instance, I wrote about Draupadi this week as well, but I had her interviewing for a women's magazine. Your writing is always excellent and keeps the reader moving along at a great pace. Do you write a lot on the side? You are definitely a natural at storytelling. I will be back to read the rest of your Storybook!
Hey Claire, it looks like you've got a nice cloud of followers going here! I'm back again too, seeing as you've got a new story out. I think this one was just as amazing as the rest have been. You clearly have a knack for creative writing and I love what you've done with the stories so far. I really liked the language you used throughout the story and I'm really happy with the setting.
Now I think there are a few things that could be done, grammar wise, to help with your story. Nothing major just a few tweaks. In about the fourth paragraph there’s this sentence that says, “She was also walking towards us.” I feel like this is sort of awkward and could either be plugged into the other sentence or omitted altogether. … Oops I actually thought I had more than that, turns out I don’t!
Also I think the beginning of the story was great when Sam is thinking about how the puddles work, I think it’s a great addition to the story and creates a lot of interest.
First off, your picture is brilliant. In your introduction, I don’t see any language that gives the reader a hint that the setting is in the Wild West until more than five hundred words in when you mention a “smoky saloon.” Yet, I felt like I had a good mental picture of the surroundings just because of the image. You give the reader a thousand words of exposition before your first sentence. Also, I really like how you hint of the magic system by mentioning puddles. Plus, it sounds like there is an interesting back-story with Elliot. Your first story is also very good. For some reason, your picture isn’t showing up. However, I looked it up on the Wikipedia page, and it seems to give a good sense of setting. Verona is such a beautiful city. Have you had the chance to go there? Here is a picture I took of the city at sunset. I thought the way you brought in Sam’s knowledge Romeo and Juliet, when she tells Sita not to pretend to die, was very humorous. Also, I noticed that Sam and Elliot have no problem communicating in another language, which is another interesting side effect of the magic system in your world. Excellent work so far!
Hi Claire, I am commenting in regards to your story book – Hello, When Am I? OMG, I am so jealous of your webpage. It is so cool and neat looking. You have done a great job on putting up your storybook webpage. I wish I was as creative as you. In the beginning when I started reading the storybook, I was so confused. I didn’t know where you were going with your story, as I read further, I took a liking towards the story. I really enjoyed reading your story. I liked the picture you have added on your introduction. While reading your stories in your storybook, I felt like you did put some effort in to it. I liked your writing style, you do a good job on keeping the suspense in your story. I am eager to read your upcoming story books. Good luck on your storybook
Claire, I really like what you did with your site since I last visited! You really enhanced the creativity of the look of the storybook and it was really cool! Your story titles are genius! I especially appreciated “Capulets and Montagues” and “Viva las Pandavas”. Your writing is excellent! It reminds me of my old days in middle school and high school when I would spend hours reading teen fiction novels (I hope this is not an insult to you because I definitely meant it as a compliment)! The idea of Draupadi being in the Wild West for the retelling of the original story with Draupadi and her husband, Yudhushthira is perfect. I can totally picture Yudhishthira gambling away his kingdom in the setting of the Wild West in a saloon. I also liked that you included Elvis Presley’s song as the soundtrack to the background of your story. I think that detail adds a lot of description! Great job!
Again, I really enjoy reading your posts. You've inspired me to include the song I was writing too during my story. That's awesome because I usually write to a song as well. Haha, during this story I had in my mind I was reading with a western accent. You are one of the storybooks I try to come back to read. It's great because you're a friend and a excellent writer. I love how it's in first person too. I always connect really well with first person. One question where were the other characters during the texas holdem game? Were they in the salon? That would have been fun like you said in the authors note to add a bit more suspense with the game. Are the stories tied behind a continuous bigger story yet? I want to read to find out if she goes back home or what's up with these puddles are there other people. I am sure you will explore these things!
So last week I read your two stories, but I didn’t read the introduction. This week, I’ll read your introduction and give you my impressions after reading all your stories completely backwards. One thing I would suggest it that you switch the order of your stories if they are going to appear all on the same page. First off, I have to say that your stories still read really well out of order. I still understood what was happening in the stories without the benefit of the introduction. I really like how the characters jump into the Wild West first and then return to it in the second story. I also really like how you start each story with the last words from the previous story. Especially since the stories are published at different times it really helps string all the stories together. I’d really like to find out more about Sam and Elliot’s relationship, but like you said, that would take several hundred more words. Additionally, it would be interesting if the characters learned more about the magic system of the puddles as the story evolved. I think your storybook is excellent. Great job!
Hi, Claire. This is my third time back to your Storybook, so as you can probably guess, I'm a big fan of your work. The first two weeks I read the Intro and the Viva las Pandavas. So this week I read your rendition of Romeo and Juliet. I thought you did a really good job with the story from start to end. Even without the Romeo and Juliet theme, Italy is always a place associated with romance, so I thought that was a great place to set the story. Also, I thought that the twisting of the two stories was made for a really interesting read. I especially liked how you had one of the time travelers mentioned Romeo and Juliet and just compare them. Cool stuff. Overall, I think your theme of time travel is going to make for a great storybook. There are endless possibilities on how you can spin your stories like that. Great job!
I thought that this was a very interesting addition to your storybook compared to all of the other stories. The story started out with the main characters caught up in the middle of the action like usual, but this time it was at the very end of an adventure instead of in the midst of it. This addition to the story book also added a much darker twist for the reader compared to all of the other stories. I wasn’t expecting Elliot and Sam to split off and stop going on adventures for such a long time but it gave some additional depth to the story. This allows the reader to feel more connected to the main character and sympathize with him over the struggle he is going through. I like that the story ended with Elliot finally coming back over to Sam’s house after a hard thunderstorm and sets up a cliff hanger for the next story to come. Great job with everything, keep up the good work!
Hi Claire! As I said before, I was super impressed with your storybook and knew I had to read more, so here I am! When I saw our assignment this week was to revisit some of the projects we have read, I knew I wanted to come back to yours. It looks like everything has come together so nicely! I loved the most recent addition to the storybook. This plot was a little bit of a change up from your previous stories. It seemed to be a bit somber, which is not a bad thing. I think it's important to have different emotions coming from your stories. I am a huge fan of your writing. You have the ability to really draw the reader in. It's so easy for me to sit here and read all of your work so quickly because it is so descriptive. I was so excited to come back to your storybook, and it definitely did not disappoint. Great work, everything came together so nicely!
What a great idea to pair songs with your stories! It absolutely helps set the *tone* and atmosphere of a story. Just to let you know, the image for this story did not load on my browser. It could be because of the fact I use Google Chrome and perhaps you use something different? Either way, the picture shows up as a thumbnail with the type “Image” across the center of it. The way you reimagined the stories of Romeo and Juliet and the Ramayana by intertwining the two makes both stories very refreshing. Having Rama/Romeo try to win Sita/Juliet’s hand through the stringing-of-the-bow contest is a lot more reasonable than the two of them sneaking behind their families back while their families slaughter each other. Would Lakshmana be Mercutio in this story? It could be an interesting to see how his character turns out since Mercutio was my favorite and I was always bitter about the way he died.
Hey Claire. As part of the extra credit assignment we're supposed to comment to people who we appreciated throughout the semester. You're storybook was one that I truly enjoyed visiting. It was put together very nicely and had ridiculously entertaining stories. It was like reading a published novel or something. You helped me think more outside the box with my writing styles, so I thank you for that. Great work this semester!
Hey Claire! I haven’t seen you much on campus this semester, but I’m glad you decided to take this class. Of all the storybooks I read, yours was my favorite. The narrative was exciting and your characters were interesting. Hopefully, I’ll see you sometime soon. Good luck with whatever work you go into after you graduate, and have a great Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!
Hi, Claire! I am actually in the Myth-Folklore class, but I wanted to pop over for my extra credit this week. I am taking the Indian Epics course next semester, so I wanted kind of an idea of what the content of the class was like. I loved the title of your storybook! It definitely intrigued me enough to want to take a look at your stories. I wasn’t disappointed upon arrival at your site. Your format is so pretty! It definitely fit the title of your page. Your story “history in dust” was awesome! I actually began a creating writing project of mine in a very similar fashion—the funeral pyre creates a really unforgettable image. The woman crawling into the fire for her husband drew me in immediately, as did the out of place name “Elliot”. My suspicions were confirmed in the second half of the intro. Time travel! You did a fantastic job of making Sam come to life with the narration and dialogue—I especially liked the fish detail. I must admit, I read this story thinking it was your introduction (not sure how that happened, I obviously wasn’t paying attention). That being said, I am super interested in going back and reading more. Overall, your writing is incredible! This is hands down my favorite storybook I’ve seen thus far. I will absolutely be coming back and starting from the beginning next time.
Hey Claire, I'm back to the umpteenth time to write on your comment wall again!! So I'm writing this as an appreciation post because I think you've done an amazing job with this class this semester. I feel like you put a lot of time and effort into your posts and I love what you've done with your blog. I feel like you really tried to make your storytelling, storybook, and blog something special and it definitely shows! Thank you for being one of the most entertaining people in class!
Hey Claire! So even though I know you’re done with the class, I’m still commenting on your awesome storybook! I’m back to talk about the last story you added and again, you have never disappointed me with your storytelling! I think this depiction of Promila was spot on and I love the way that you mixed up the way you told the story!
I think what really drew me in with this story was the way that the Indian Epics story behind the storybook wasn’t really the focus. Instead the focus was on the life of Sam and how it made her feel and how she was coping with the fact that she was back in her life after having stepped through a time puddle!
It was really great getting to read all of your stories and I feel like you did a great job at really putting in the creative effort for all of us, your classmates! So thank you for an awesome storybook!
I was so happy at the beginning of the semester to see that you were taking this course too. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your stories and storybook! I can't wait to read this weeks. I wanted to leave a comment and tell you how much I enjoyed way you write and how creative you are. I know how insanely busy you are yet you still find time to really do a stellar job on your stories.
I was not surprised at all to see your Storybook among the favorites of the class. For me, it was probably the easiest choice when I was deciding what my favorite storybooks were going to be. This is my third time visiting your comment wall, and this time I read the "History in Dust" story. First off, the introduction was very well written. The way you described the setting immediately caught my attention and had me hooked for the rest of the story. The whole story was very well written. I really liked how you spaced out the story. You also did a really good job of incorporating dialogue into the actual story telling. This makes the story easier to read, as you kind of put yourself in the characters shoes. Your ending was very intriguing also. It does a good job of keeping the reader interested, waiting to read about the next adventure. Great job!
This is my first time reading your storybook so I read your introduction and your first story, Capulets and Montagues. I really enjoyed your storybook. I like the idea of having the main characters be time travelers and learning the other stories through that. I love how you had Elliot and Sam appear to have an instant connection, like they were friends from the beginning. I think your story was really easy to read and I thought you did such a great job with it. I think your concept was very creative and the dialogue really made the story flow well. It was very easy to read. I also liked how you tied in the story of Rama and Sita with that of Romeo and Juliet. The way you incorporated the two stories worked really well for your storybook. Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook and I am definitely going to have to finish reading the rest of the stories in it.
Hey Claire! I think I have mentioned this before, but I am just blown away by the way your stories are written. I legitimatly got excited when I saw the third story just like if I was waiting for my favorite fiction series to announce a new book. Anyway, your writing is impressive and shows amazing talent. The way your brain works and the ability you have to incorporate these very different stories into one big amazing Storybook shows. When I was thinking of what Storybooks to nominate, yours was the first one that I thought of.
I hope you plan on continuing to write like this. I bet one day I will walk into a bookstore and see a book by Clair Malaby sitting on the shelf and I will remember this class and the great time I had reading your work.
Hey Claire! First off I want just say great story and congratulations on making it on the favorites list. Your page looks great! The heading matches well with the picture and the page it self is simple and easy to read. The story i read was Capulets and Montagues. I liked how spun together the love story of Romeo and Juliet and Rama and Sita. When I was reading it, I thought you were going to kill of Rama and Sita cause of the original ending to Romeo and Juliet. However, I was kind of surprised when Sita mentioned that Rama might convince her family by string Shiva's bow. I like the cliff hanger ending to. It was just enough to leave me at the end of my seat. Just to tie everything up. The best about your story book was your originality. You told the story in different and exciting way making it a great read.
Hi, Claire!! I came back to your storybook from the Mythology class this week for a final look at your storybook! I loved the story I read last time, so this time I started from the beginning. I am so, so impressed! The idea for your storybook was so fantastic, and you executed it unbelievably well. You made the characters likeable and believable. I loved how one of Sam’s first thoughts was about her fish—that made her really relatable to me. Sam’s humor was also a selling point for me. Your storybook made me laugh out loud more than once! I found the part about “traveling with a flirt” particularly funny. Your descriptions were also fantastic. I loved the way you described Lady Capulet’s apparel. It really brought her to life for me. Your writing style altogether was great. Your similies and metaphors were vivid without being clichéd. I didn’t get to vote you as a favorite since I’m in the other class, but your project was my overall favorite—without a doubt! Really nicely done.
Hi Claire! It's been a while since I've visited your storybook, so I decided to see how everything turned out. It looks so great! I remember reading some of your stories much earlier in the semester and being so impressed. Your layout is fantastic, your stories are well written, and everything is organized wonderfully. Your descriptions of the scenes and characters was fantastic! It seems like you put a lot of hard work into making this all come together so well. I was never bored reading through your stories, and I have to say your storybook is definitely one of my favorites!
Hey Claire! I actually chose your storybook to read because I have read some of your stories before and they were really entertaining and different and, now that I’ve read your introduction to your storybook, I am happily thrilled to see you’ve created another entertaining story! I absolutely love the direction you’ve chosen for your storybook! I don’t know if you watch it, but it seems very Doctor Who-ish or like something akin to an old show I watched called “Sliders”. When reading through your storybook I really didn’t notice a whole lot of grammar mistakes, and I think by reading it aloud you could fix the ones I did see. Some of them are just things like words that are missing or the sentence is just a tad bit off kilter. I think paragraph three is where I saw the most problems with flow and grammar. However overall I really, absolutely enjoyed reading your introduction and I can’t wait to read more!!
ReplyDeleteHey there! Briana took the words out of my mouth. I watched Doctor who earlier today and was thinking about this as I read. Growing up I read the Magic Tree House books. This storyline was directly in line with this. I love the other worlds types. It took me a second to understand that the portal didn't go back to the same place. Did she just run off with Elliot because she wanted to go on an adventure? I love your writing style. I can not wait to read the rest of the stories and see how they turn out. I'm interested to see how you pull in the epics of india characters and storyline. Did you pull from any in your introduction? That's one thing I was wondering about is who you were drawing from in this introduction. The flow is up beat and fast. I feel as if it is racing with her heart and keeping up with the buzzing of her mind which is excellent. I can't wait to see what kind of spots they get into traveling through the puddle portals.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, The theme of your page is great. I think the splashing photo and the theme of your site mends perfectly with the context the story. Your title acts as hook. It is very interesting and grabs the readers attention. Where did you get your idea from ? It reminds of some movie but I just cant think of the title. At first I thought of Narnia but I think its something else. the Ending of your introduction was great too. Mixing the Ramana epic with Romeo and Juliet plus your puddle twist is a very entertaining and creative idea. I clicked the link for Hello, Where Am I and It did not send me anywhere . It gave a request no found page. I do not know if it is on my end but you should fix the link. Also the splashing photo you used in your introduction lacked a link and a information
ReplyDeleteYour story book looks really good! It is so different and unique from the stories I have seen before and definitely grabs my attention. I really enjoyed reading your introduction and I liked how you related it to romeo and juliet. Your pictures are pretty cool and i love the layout you chose. Your introduction was captivating and easy to follow along. I am really looking forward to reading the rest of your story book. Great job so far!
ReplyDeleteIntroduction:
ReplyDeleteHey Claire! I chose your storybook for my free choice! I was reading through several storybook titles and yours caught my attention! Let me just say that your introduction really caught my attention! I liked how there was mystery, yet I also knew the theme of your story. Time travel? That's creative! I want it to rain now so I can jump in puddles and travel to Italy (if only). I like how the characters are time traveling through puddles and meeting different characters from the Indian Epics. You also did a great job in portraying different personality traits in your characters. I can already tell that Elliot is going to be my favorite character. Having a sense of humor is always the way to go! You definitely left a great cliff-hanger! It made me sad that I couldn't read anymore! I wonder, will you be going more into depth for each Indian epic or will it just be your main characters encountering other characters? I guess I have to read more to find out. Trust me, I'll be back to read your stories!
I really like the different approach you took to formatting your blog. The overall aesthetics of it is beautiful and I like the scroll through method that you went with. Your writing for the introduction was fantastic! It was well-connected and read smooth like a novel. I had no confusion on your characters, the action in the scene or the three different settings that the action took place in. It very much has Dr. Who element to it, which I’m guessing might have been an inspiration to your blog. Having the puddles as portals to another world was a great device for time-traveling, but what happens if there’s no rain? I also hope you go back to the scene with Draupadi because it seemed to be picking up momentum before your two main characters left. It’s going to be fun to read how you’ve reinterpreted characters into Shakespearean storylines. Overall great job and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHi Claire. I want to start by saying you have done an awesome job on your Storybook as a whole. You can tell that you put forth some effort on this. I'm not going to lie, I was a little bit confused at first. But, this curiosity kept me reading, which is basically the goal of writing stories. You did a great job of putting a completely new twist on the stories. Time travel in movies and literature are something that have always interested me. It is one of the best ways to connect the readers to the particular past that you are telling the story about. I think you do a really good job of putting the reader into the setting of the story. Your layout of the site itself is really catchy too. I really like the fade you have going on. Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteClaire, I found your storybook site to be super interesting and neat looking! You have done an incredible job with creativity and organization. In fact, I found your site to be one of the best I have seen so far! When I first read your title, “Hello, When Am I?”, I was a little confused I will admit because I thought it was an incorrect use of grammar. However, when I learned in your introduction why you titled it that way, it made much more sense and I was able to fully see the picture behind the words. I thought the whole concept of jumping into the puddle on the sidewalk was really intriguing and it definitely had me hooked for the rest of your stories! I cannot wait to see what you end up writing for the rest of your storybook! Overall, you did a fantastic job. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThis has to be my favorite storybook I have read so far, hands down! The title is very clever and thought provoking, it instantly drew me in and I felt obligated to continue with reading the story from there. Your use of dialogue is very fitting for this type of storytelling, it keeps things fast paced and action packed which is what you would expect from a character that is constantly traveling through time and getting in to new adventures. What I loved most about this story so far is the way you insert comedy every so often. You don't over do it and it doesn't come off as lame or anything, you did it in just the right way as to keep the reader more interested in reading. I found myself chuckling every so often, especially when you talked about the feelings one might experience when falling through a puddle in a nonchalant way. This is a really cool premise for a storybook because you can keep adding exciting new adventures along the way that never grow old or boring. I couldn't help but being reminded of Dr. Who while reading the introduction, which is one of my favorite shows by the way. You have definitely set up this story in a way that makes me want to come back to read more. I'm excited to see where this goes!
ReplyDeleteClaire,
ReplyDeleteI choose to come back to your storybook because I love your writing style and you are a friend! I'm now looking forward to reading your next story. The one this week had so many goodies in it. Once I realized you were doing Romeo and Juliet, I thought how clever is that that you would intertwine the two story lines. I love the alterations that you had with the story. I can't wait to find out what is going on in the next story! I'll have to read along side with the story. I do a lot of writing with writing that lines up with the words. Of course all the pictures you choose are awesome too. I love the dynamics between the two characters. There is a good amount of mystery and interaction that provides for great story. His background is still a bit fuzzy which is great and makes me want to learn more about the time before the time traveling for them.
Claire, I'm back to read your storybook, and I loved it! The humor was so great that I literally laughed out loud in the Union which attracted disapproving stares. It was so worth it! I thought it was genius that you incorporated Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet into Rama and Sita's story. Believe it or not, I didn't even make that obvious connection. The way you emphasized an alternative solution to Sita's problem was too funy! No deaths, fake or real! That was priceless. I enjoy the character development also. I can easily visualize Elliot being a flirt. Siding with Sam on this one, flirty boys can be annoying! I'm curious if something will develop between them. Maybe?Your writing style really appeals to me also. There is no need for me to reread paragraphs for clarification because your sentence structure flows so smoothly. My favorite aspect of your writing style is the way you present your dialogue. Please maintain the humor! I'm excited to read about the conflict with Draupadi. As Arnold Schwarzenegger would say, "I'll be back!"
ReplyDeleteHello Claire! You are an extremely good writer. I enjoyed reading your story very much. I like the concept of time travelling through puddles. It is a cool way to take modern characters back in time. You are extremely descriptive and explain every detail of your story. For example when you were talking about breathable shoes an image of Nike Free Runs came to my mind. I like how you described why the character was motivated to jump in the puddle. You must have put a lot of thought into each sentence of the story. Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite stories. It will be interesting to see how you integrate the epics we have read into your story. – Introduction Comments
ReplyDeleteYour first story is also good. Now I understand that you will be writing about several different epics that we have read. I like how this version of Romeo and Juliet ended happily. You also have good transitions into each story. –Story 1 Comments
Hey Claire!
ReplyDeleteI would like to start off by saying that I have not seen a storybook like this. The way you formatted your stories and introduction are very unique. It really caught my attention. It made me want to read more. I also like how simple and clean it is. Your storybook in general is really clean and pretty. While reading you stories, I did not really notice any errors. You must have read your stories out loud or had a friend review, which is good! The breaks between you paragraph made sense. It made the story flow smoothly. It was not too choppy or anything. I really liked the images you included. Especially the image in your “Capulets and Montagues” story. What building is that? Where did you find it? It is so pretty. I want visit it. Good job Claire! I look forward to reading more your stories and posts.
Hey Claire!
ReplyDeleteI chose to come back and read your storybook for extra credit because I knew it would be interesting and I again I wasn't disappointed!
I love that you chose to do a storyline where you take a story everyone knows and change the ending to be happy. The use of Romeo and Juliet as a segue into Sita and Rama's marriage was a great idea and I don't think I could have done it half as well as you did! I like that your characters attempted to fit into the timeline they were in and I still absolutely love the puddle idea. Not to mention that at the end of this latest story addition, you brought us back full circle to a place where one of the characters has already been. I think it's going to be a fantastic storybook! Thank you again Claire for making an awesome storybook and making me wish I had done something way cooler with mine!
I read the beginning of this storybook for my first time last week and loved the idea of it so much that I decided to come back for more this week! I thought it was so smart how you incorporated Romeo and Juliet into this story, and I also liked that the two time traveling main characters recognized the idea of Romeo and Juliet as well. It was really clever how you used the plot line of the Ramayana as a solution to the problems presented in the plot line of Romeo and Juliet. Once again, you managed to put the right amount of humor into the writing again and it really adds extra character and depth to your writing. I love it! These stories are so fun to read I think I will continue to read the whole thing and see how it progresses! I love how the end of each story always ends with an exciting cliff hanger that leads us in to next week.
ReplyDeleteCan I just say I absolutely adore your writing? I clicked on your storybook for my free choice. I am so glad I did! You had me hooked from the title. The format is clean and so professional, it is hard to believe it is a tumblr site (which makes me interested in learning more about tumblr). I love the way you have built the pages to make it look like a Shakespeare play. The stories were written so well! The introduction was so fun to read and the first story had me laughing as I read. It was a great touch to have Sam and Elliot very intent on avoiding a repeat of Romeo and Juliet. It was easy to read and you had the details placed beautifully to help the reader picture the context of the story. Keep up the good work and I cannot wait to read about their adventure with Draupadi!
ReplyDeleteHi Claire! I always love reading your work. Your writing is really good! I love the layout of your story, the theme, pictures included and everything else. I read the introduction a few weeks and loved it! This week I read the first story you added and thought it was great! I like how it was written in Sita's point of view through Sam. Your storybook is very interesting and i love how you left the first story in suspense. This detail makes the reader want to come back and read what happens next. Overall great job again!
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting introduction! I really think that this will suck the readers in. The paragraph spacing for the introduction was good because it led to the excitement of the story as “Sam” ran away. I am not sure how close you were to the word limit, but perhaps a bit more explanation could be used around the puddle jumping. The text and outline were easy to read and understand. The beginning of the story the word choice was good, but I am not sure on the word choice for the dialogue.
ReplyDeleteThe story is a good read. I particularly enjoyed the way you introduced the story by using the same sentence as the closing of the introduction. I feel that often times because this storybook is written over the span of several weeks that the continuity is at stake, but you seem to fix it with this choice. I like the crossing of Romeo and Juliet such a familiar love story will add to the story. I am glad you fixed the dialogue question from the introduction and again you chose to have continuity which I personally enjoy.
Hey Claire! This was a great story to read! I love how you smoothly combined the actual events of the Mahabharata with your own time traveling story for your main character! This time, the story was all about the gambling scene in the Mahabharata but this time, I like how Draupadi had a really strong character and sort of bossed Elliot and the main character around, and even told the poker players how things were going to happen inside of the saloon! I thought it was really smart and fun that you chose for the scene for the gambling to take place in to be an old saloon out in the west. That was so fitting since it seems like every time you watch an old western movie, there is always a scene where cowboys are playing poker in a saloon. Your choice of dialogue was also perfect for the scene and made it feel much more realistic. Well done, once again.
ReplyDeleteHi Claire! I chose your storybook to read this week because when I was pulling several to choose from, yours stood out for many reasons. First of all, the layout of your storybook is fantastic. It is very aesthetically pleasing, and definitely caught my attention. I was impressed right off the bat, because I could never put mine together that nicely! Your introduction was great. I love the theme and thought it was super creative. You have great writing skills and definitely made me want to keep reading more. At the end of the introduction, I knew I wanted to read all of your stories to find out what happens. You stuck with some similarities to the original Mahabharata, while adding in your own twist and creating your own main character. I cannot wait to read more of your stories in the weeks to come. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHi Claire! Once again, I think your storybook is absolutely awesome. This week I read your "Viva Las Pandavas" story. First off, the name of that story is great and it immediately caught my attention. The story of the Pandavas was the most interesting part of the Mahabharata, in my opinion, so I had a great time reading this. I thought setting the story in the Wild West was very fitting, as those old saloons are notoriously associated with gambling. I think that the whole theme of your storybook is going to allow some very interesting stories. Once again, it was very well written and kept me interested the entire time. Keep up the awesome work!
ReplyDeleteHey there Claire!
ReplyDeleteI'm back again, and I'm so happy to see that you posted another story! Is it a surprise that I thought it was so awesome? Because it was! The setting in the wild west was out of this world! I never in a million years thought that I would read an Indian epic in a western setting, but you pulled it off nicely! Elliot and the main character continue having an awesome dynamic relationship which i thoroughly enjoy. It was really interesting to read how you weaved in a western setting with the Pandavas gambling dilemma. The main character handled Texas hold 'em like a pro even though she was so nervous! I don't know what I would do in that situation. Your storybook continues to have a strong theme and character development. It makes me sad to think that your storybook is almost done! Don't stop writing!
I chose your Storybook for my free choice because I have decided it is my favorite one. I love the way you have been writing these stories paired with a song. I do have to ask how you are choosing these songs? Are these the songs that you normally listen to? I think Viva Las Vegas by Elvis is a great fit for this story.
ReplyDeleteDraupadi in this western theme was fantastic. I like how these Storybooks really highlight how differently the stories can be interpreted. There are so many stories that can come from just one original story. For instance, I wrote about Draupadi this week as well, but I had her interviewing for a women's magazine. Your writing is always excellent and keeps the reader moving along at a great pace. Do you write a lot on the side? You are definitely a natural at storytelling. I will be back to read the rest of your Storybook!
Hey Claire, it looks like you've got a nice cloud of followers going here! I'm back again too, seeing as you've got a new story out. I think this one was just as amazing as the rest have been. You clearly have a knack for creative writing and I love what you've done with the stories so far. I really liked the language you used throughout the story and I'm really happy with the setting.
ReplyDeleteNow I think there are a few things that could be done, grammar wise, to help with your story. Nothing major just a few tweaks. In about the fourth paragraph there’s this sentence that says, “She was also walking towards us.” I feel like this is sort of awkward and could either be plugged into the other sentence or omitted altogether. … Oops I actually thought I had more than that, turns out I don’t!
Also I think the beginning of the story was great when Sam is thinking about how the puddles work, I think it’s a great addition to the story and creates a lot of interest.
First off, your picture is brilliant. In your introduction, I don’t see any language that gives the reader a hint that the setting is in the Wild West until more than five hundred words in when you mention a “smoky saloon.” Yet, I felt like I had a good mental picture of the surroundings just because of the image. You give the reader a thousand words of exposition before your first sentence. Also, I really like how you hint of the magic system by mentioning puddles. Plus, it sounds like there is an interesting back-story with Elliot. Your first story is also very good. For some reason, your picture isn’t showing up. However, I looked it up on the Wikipedia page, and it seems to give a good sense of setting. Verona is such a beautiful city. Have you had the chance to go there? Here is a picture I took of the city at sunset. I thought the way you brought in Sam’s knowledge Romeo and Juliet, when she tells Sita not to pretend to die, was very humorous. Also, I noticed that Sam and Elliot have no problem communicating in another language, which is another interesting side effect of the magic system in your world. Excellent work so far!
ReplyDeleteHi Claire, I am commenting in regards to your story book – Hello, When Am I? OMG, I am so jealous of your webpage. It is so cool and neat looking. You have done a great job on putting up your storybook webpage. I wish I was as creative as you. In the beginning when I started reading the storybook, I was so confused. I didn’t know where you were going with your story, as I read further, I took a liking towards the story. I really enjoyed reading your story. I liked the picture you have added on your introduction. While reading your stories in your storybook, I felt like you did put some effort in to it. I liked your writing style, you do a good job on keeping the suspense in your story. I am eager to read your upcoming story books. Good luck on your storybook
ReplyDeleteClaire, I really like what you did with your site since I last visited! You really enhanced the creativity of the look of the storybook and it was really cool! Your story titles are genius! I especially appreciated “Capulets and Montagues” and “Viva las Pandavas”. Your writing is excellent! It reminds me of my old days in middle school and high school when I would spend hours reading teen fiction novels (I hope this is not an insult to you because I definitely meant it as a compliment)! The idea of Draupadi being in the Wild West for the retelling of the original story with Draupadi and her husband, Yudhushthira is perfect. I can totally picture Yudhishthira gambling away his kingdom in the setting of the Wild West in a saloon. I also liked that you included Elvis Presley’s song as the soundtrack to the background of your story. I think that detail adds a lot of description! Great job!
ReplyDeleteAgain, I really enjoy reading your posts. You've inspired me to include the song I was writing too during my story. That's awesome because I usually write to a song as well. Haha, during this story I had in my mind I was reading with a western accent. You are one of the storybooks I try to come back to read. It's great because you're a friend and a excellent writer. I love how it's in first person too. I always connect really well with first person. One question where were the other characters during the texas holdem game? Were they in the salon? That would have been fun like you said in the authors note to add a bit more suspense with the game. Are the stories tied behind a continuous bigger story yet? I want to read to find out if she goes back home or what's up with these puddles are there other people. I am sure you will explore these things!
ReplyDeleteSo last week I read your two stories, but I didn’t read the introduction. This week, I’ll read your introduction and give you my impressions after reading all your stories completely backwards. One thing I would suggest it that you switch the order of your stories if they are going to appear all on the same page. First off, I have to say that your stories still read really well out of order. I still understood what was happening in the stories without the benefit of the introduction. I really like how the characters jump into the Wild West first and then return to it in the second story. I also really like how you start each story with the last words from the previous story. Especially since the stories are published at different times it really helps string all the stories together. I’d really like to find out more about Sam and Elliot’s relationship, but like you said, that would take several hundred more words. Additionally, it would be interesting if the characters learned more about the magic system of the puddles as the story evolved. I think your storybook is excellent. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi, Claire. This is my third time back to your Storybook, so as you can probably guess, I'm a big fan of your work. The first two weeks I read the Intro and the Viva las Pandavas. So this week I read your rendition of Romeo and Juliet. I thought you did a really good job with the story from start to end. Even without the Romeo and Juliet theme, Italy is always a place associated with romance, so I thought that was a great place to set the story. Also, I thought that the twisting of the two stories was made for a really interesting read. I especially liked how you had one of the time travelers mentioned Romeo and Juliet and just compare them. Cool stuff. Overall, I think your theme of time travel is going to make for a great storybook. There are endless possibilities on how you can spin your stories like that. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI thought that this was a very interesting addition to your storybook compared to all of the other stories. The story started out with the main characters caught up in the middle of the action like usual, but this time it was at the very end of an adventure instead of in the midst of it. This addition to the story book also added a much darker twist for the reader compared to all of the other stories. I wasn’t expecting Elliot and Sam to split off and stop going on adventures for such a long time but it gave some additional depth to the story. This allows the reader to feel more connected to the main character and sympathize with him over the struggle he is going through. I like that the story ended with Elliot finally coming back over to Sam’s house after a hard thunderstorm and sets up a cliff hanger for the next story to come. Great job with everything, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Claire! As I said before, I was super impressed with your storybook and knew I had to read more, so here I am! When I saw our assignment this week was to revisit some of the projects we have read, I knew I wanted to come back to yours. It looks like everything has come together so nicely! I loved the most recent addition to the storybook. This plot was a little bit of a change up from your previous stories. It seemed to be a bit somber, which is not a bad thing. I think it's important to have different emotions coming from your stories. I am a huge fan of your writing. You have the ability to really draw the reader in. It's so easy for me to sit here and read all of your work so quickly because it is so descriptive. I was so excited to come back to your storybook, and it definitely did not disappoint. Great work, everything came together so nicely!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea to pair songs with your stories! It absolutely helps set the *tone* and atmosphere of a story. Just to let you know, the image for this story did not load on my browser. It could be because of the fact I use Google Chrome and perhaps you use something different? Either way, the picture shows up as a thumbnail with the type “Image” across the center of it. The way you reimagined the stories of Romeo and Juliet and the Ramayana by intertwining the two makes both stories very refreshing. Having Rama/Romeo try to win Sita/Juliet’s hand through the stringing-of-the-bow contest is a lot more reasonable than the two of them sneaking behind their families back while their families slaughter each other. Would Lakshmana be Mercutio in this story? It could be an interesting to see how his character turns out since Mercutio was my favorite and I was always bitter about the way he died.
ReplyDeleteHey Claire. As part of the extra credit assignment we're supposed to comment to people who we appreciated throughout the semester. You're storybook was one that I truly enjoyed visiting. It was put together very nicely and had ridiculously entertaining stories. It was like reading a published novel or something. You helped me think more outside the box with my writing styles, so I thank you for that. Great work this semester!
ReplyDeleteHey Claire! I haven’t seen you much on campus this semester, but I’m glad you decided to take this class. Of all the storybooks I read, yours was my favorite. The narrative was exciting and your characters were interesting. Hopefully, I’ll see you sometime soon. Good luck with whatever work you go into after you graduate, and have a great Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!
ReplyDeleteHi, Claire!
ReplyDeleteI am actually in the Myth-Folklore class, but I wanted to pop over for my extra credit this week. I am taking the Indian Epics course next semester, so I wanted kind of an idea of what the content of the class was like. I loved the title of your storybook! It definitely intrigued me enough to want to take a look at your stories. I wasn’t disappointed upon arrival at your site. Your format is so pretty! It definitely fit the title of your page.
Your story “history in dust” was awesome! I actually began a creating writing project of mine in a very similar fashion—the funeral pyre creates a really unforgettable image. The woman crawling into the fire for her husband drew me in immediately, as did the out of place name “Elliot”. My suspicions were confirmed in the second half of the intro. Time travel! You did a fantastic job of making Sam come to life with the narration and dialogue—I especially liked the fish detail. I must admit, I read this story thinking it was your introduction (not sure how that happened, I obviously wasn’t paying attention). That being said, I am super interested in going back and reading more. Overall, your writing is incredible! This is hands down my favorite storybook I’ve seen thus far. I will absolutely be coming back and starting from the beginning next time.
Hey Claire, I'm back to the umpteenth time to write on your comment wall again!! So I'm writing this as an appreciation post because I think you've done an amazing job with this class this semester. I feel like you put a lot of time and effort into your posts and I love what you've done with your blog. I feel like you really tried to make your storytelling, storybook, and blog something special and it definitely shows! Thank you for being one of the most entertaining people in class!
ReplyDeleteHey Claire!
ReplyDeleteSo even though I know you’re done with the class, I’m still commenting on your awesome storybook! I’m back to talk about the last story you added and again, you have never disappointed me with your storytelling! I think this depiction of Promila was spot on and I love the way that you mixed up the way you told the story!
I think what really drew me in with this story was the way that the Indian Epics story behind the storybook wasn’t really the focus. Instead the focus was on the life of Sam and how it made her feel and how she was coping with the fact that she was back in her life after having stepped through a time puddle!
It was really great getting to read all of your stories and I feel like you did a great job at really putting in the creative effort for all of us, your classmates! So thank you for an awesome storybook!
Hey Claire!
ReplyDeleteI was so happy at the beginning of the semester to see that you were taking this course too. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your stories and storybook! I can't wait to read this weeks. I wanted to leave a comment and tell you how much I enjoyed way you write and how creative you are. I know how insanely busy you are yet you still find time to really do a stellar job on your stories.
Hey Claire!
ReplyDeleteI was not surprised at all to see your Storybook among the favorites of the class. For me, it was probably the easiest choice when I was deciding what my favorite storybooks were going to be. This is my third time visiting your comment wall, and this time I read the "History in Dust" story. First off, the introduction was very well written. The way you described the setting immediately caught my attention and had me hooked for the rest of the story. The whole story was very well written. I really liked how you spaced out the story. You also did a really good job of incorporating dialogue into the actual story telling. This makes the story easier to read, as you kind of put yourself in the characters shoes. Your ending was very intriguing also. It does a good job of keeping the reader interested, waiting to read about the next adventure. Great job!
This is my first time reading your storybook so I read your introduction and your first story, Capulets and Montagues. I really enjoyed your storybook. I like the idea of having the main characters be time travelers and learning the other stories through that. I love how you had Elliot and Sam appear to have an instant connection, like they were friends from the beginning. I think your story was really easy to read and I thought you did such a great job with it. I think your concept was very creative and the dialogue really made the story flow well. It was very easy to read. I also liked how you tied in the story of Rama and Sita with that of Romeo and Juliet. The way you incorporated the two stories worked really well for your storybook. Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook and I am definitely going to have to finish reading the rest of the stories in it.
ReplyDeleteHey Claire! I think I have mentioned this before, but I am just blown away by the way your stories are written. I legitimatly got excited when I saw the third story just like if I was waiting for my favorite fiction series to announce a new book. Anyway, your writing is impressive and shows amazing talent. The way your brain works and the ability you have to incorporate these very different stories into one big amazing Storybook shows. When I was thinking of what Storybooks to nominate, yours was the first one that I thought of.
ReplyDeleteI hope you plan on continuing to write like this. I bet one day I will walk into a bookstore and see a book by Clair Malaby sitting on the shelf and I will remember this class and the great time I had reading your work.
Hey Claire! First off I want just say great story and congratulations on making it on the favorites list. Your page looks great! The heading matches well with the picture and the page it self is simple and easy to read. The story i read was Capulets and Montagues. I liked how spun together the love story of Romeo and Juliet and Rama and Sita. When I was reading it, I thought you were going to kill of Rama and Sita cause of the original ending to Romeo and Juliet. However, I was kind of surprised when Sita mentioned that Rama might convince her family by string Shiva's bow. I like the cliff hanger ending to. It was just enough to leave me at the end of my seat. Just to tie everything up. The best about your story book was your originality. You told the story in different and exciting way making it a great read.
ReplyDeleteHi, Claire!!
ReplyDeleteI came back to your storybook from the Mythology class this week for a final look at your storybook! I loved the story I read last time, so this time I started from the beginning. I am so, so impressed! The idea for your storybook was so fantastic, and you executed it unbelievably well. You made the characters likeable and believable. I loved how one of Sam’s first thoughts was about her fish—that made her really relatable to me. Sam’s humor was also a selling point for me. Your storybook made me laugh out loud more than once! I found the part about “traveling with a flirt” particularly funny.
Your descriptions were also fantastic. I loved the way you described Lady Capulet’s apparel. It really brought her to life for me. Your writing style altogether was great. Your similies and metaphors were vivid without being clichéd.
I didn’t get to vote you as a favorite since I’m in the other class, but your project was my overall favorite—without a doubt! Really nicely done.
Hi Claire! It's been a while since I've visited your storybook, so I decided to see how everything turned out. It looks so great! I remember reading some of your stories much earlier in the semester and being so impressed. Your layout is fantastic, your stories are well written, and everything is organized wonderfully. Your descriptions of the scenes and characters was fantastic! It seems like you put a lot of hard work into making this all come together so well. I was never bored reading through your stories, and I have to say your storybook is definitely one of my favorites!
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