Week 11: Reading Diary B

sita's in flames from Bill Benzon on Flickr

This week I chose to finish up Nine Ideal Indian Women, by Sunity Devee.

Every time I reread Sita's story, I know exactly what's coming at the end, and yet it gets me every time. Rama insists Sita prove herself virtuous, so she throws herself on a fire and doesn't get burned. Pretty sure that's proof enough, but a while later, Rama tells Lakshmana that while Rama totally 100% believes that Sita is innocent, she's gotta go back to the forest. Because of his duty to his subjects, or something. Really? It's like every time I read it his reasoning gets worse.

Plus, this time, Rama gets mad that she leaves and starts shooting arrows at the earth, and then promises that he'll never ask to test her again, which is interesting, because he's already asked her twice.

At least Rama is appropriately unhappy at the end of Sita's story.

Enjoying Promila's story so far, but Birbahoo is a ridiculous name and I love it.

I think the exact way most of the women's tales can be summed up is in the passage in Promila's story that follows, quoted from page 164 of Nine Ideal Indian Women:

"Husband and lord! I know your duty to King, country, and parents comes before all else, and I shall not hinder you, but may I not accompany you to the Capital?"
     "Promila! Beloved wife, music of my life!" and Indrajit caught her in a mighty clasp of farewell love. "Is it possible I could forget you for a single moment? You are my higher soul, my sunshine of life! Wait here awhile for me."  

And Promila is thrilled! The whole passage just seems so characteristic of how the husband and wife interactions go. Showered with praise, and then "but also don't come with me."

Never mind. I am thrilled with Promila's decision to go anyway dressed as a soldier.

Lakshmana got some surprising depth in the end of that story as well.

I might have to write about Promila this week.

Week 11: Reading Diary A

Sita, peacing out, and Rama, being super confused by that fact (also known as Sita returning to Mother Earth and her sons and husband looking on) from the Wikipedia article on Sita

This week I chose to finish out the Nine Ideal Indian Women book by reading Sita's section. Since I've read about Sita a fair few times before, I did my reading diary in a stream-of-consciousness style to see how that worked for me. It's a little sarcastic, so I apologize in advance.

Sita was named Sita because she was found in the furrows, which are also sitas. Did not know that!

Ravan makes the holiest and hermit-est of people praise him with gifts even if they're poor. Lame.

The moonis retaliate by giving Ravan a drop of blood from each of them, and let Ravan know that he's "so yesterday" and "we're the cool ones now," and Ravan freaks out so he gets his messenger to bury the blood in the ground. Enter Sita.

All of the princesses are pretty, but Sita's prettiness is noteworthy. All the sisters love each other though, so it's all good.

I think the mileage varies with parents openly picking favorite children, but not having that experience myself, I wouldn't know.

When Rama is getting ready to break the bow, Sita is very reminiscent of a Disney Princess in that she first saw him 0.02 seconds ago, but is asking God to help him because she loves him. Fortunately, this behavior is looked upon as normal at this point in time.

Oooooh, Rama didn't tell Dad-King he was going to woo a lady and can't very well marry without his permission.

I think I'll start using the word "bride-elect" when I'm referring to bride-to-be's. Much more democratic. Far more politically correct.

Is it just me or does it seem sort of terrible that once Sita gets married her parents are just not going to see her again? That's just a thing that happens and is accepted. "Alright, ring's on your finger, now get out and don't come back."

In every new version of the Ramayana there seems to be another detail as to why Sita's life is just not a quality one. In this version, it's because her intended takes a really, really long time to come back from taking a powder, and so when he encounters them on the road, he starts to pick a fight with Rama. Not cool, man, you set the deal up yourself.

Ooooh, Rama is sassy in this edition!

Rama: "I love you so much! I'll never leave you! Except if you get forcibly taken from me. That's not my fault, that's just logistics. And don't expect a warm welcome if you ever get back from kidnapping."

Keykaya is still the worst.

No, Sita, really, just chill in the palace. It'll make life easier for everyone and--nope, still going in to exile with your man. That's admirable, just know that loyalty in this relationship is not in fact a two way street.

Monthara is also the worst.

Sita still has a good time in the forest.

----

I think the stream of consciousness made me pay more attention to how I was reacting to the story, but I might have gotten lost in myself? I'm not sure. Will experiment further.

Week 10: Review

Okay, as much as I wanted to choose the Great Pumpkin picture for my review post, there was a picture earlier in the week that I shared with all of my friends because it was just too awesome.

Mythical Creatures chart from Tuesday's Announcements

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. The normal stuff is all on there, but did you know there's a man-fish-horse hybrid? What? That's ridiculous! Where does that come up? I'm gonna have to track it down and find out because it's too crazy not to read about.

Week 10 Storytelling

Image of Christmas Lights from pexels.com

Eleven thirty on a Thursday evening, and the new year was almost upon the world. Tara was walking a lonely route home from the late shift at the library, lost in her own thoughts, her bag heavy with new books to read. A new year meant new books, and new books meant hours and hours of happiness. A few feet from the stairs to her apartment, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Whipping around and trying to cover up the inevitably high pitched yelp she let out when she realized she was not in fact alone, she pulled her pepper spray out of her bag and pointed it at the attacker.

"Don't move! I'll spray!" Tara had the spray out far in front of her in a strong stance.

The man in front of her threw up his arms and shrunk away as words started spilling out of his mouth. "Tara! Tara it's--it's me, you know me, I'm sorry for surprising you, I just-"

"Wait, Danny? What the hell?" She lowered the spray as a whirlwind of emotions spun through her brain.

"You remember me? I--I wasn't sure if you would." He smiled sheepishly.

Of course she remembered him. The year she had spent with him had once been the greatest year of her life. They had met around this time several years ago, when she must have only been barely in her twenties. She was just out of college with no job to show for the four years she had spent working on her degree, and he was wealthy and exotic and new and someone that they definitely didn't have in her small hometown.

They had spent the next year flying to new places in charter jets, getting up early, staying out late, and having, in every definition of the word, an adventure. Tara considered herself lucky to have experienced it. It only lasted for so long--after not much longer than a year together, Danny had a family matter to attend to, and then he was gone. He vanished just as quickly as he had come into her life.

That was a heartbreak for sure. Not a call, no texts, emails nothing. Plenty of social media posts to prove that he was still alive, but nothing to prove he knew anything about Tara. It had taken her months to recover from that, almost as long as the time they had had together.

And now, here he was, exactly as he had appeared all that time ago. Had he even aged? She doubted it. People that rich didn't age.

In spite of herself, she dropped her bags and hugged him, hard. After what seemed like ages, Danny broke the embrace.

"So are you ready to go?" Danny had a gleam in his eye, an easy smile that anyone would be forgiven for falling for.

"Go? Go where?" Tara blurted out, blushing. She had intended to give him a piece of her mind, but that never had been her style.

"Anywhere. Your choice. Name it and we'll be there tomorrow."

Tara hesitated. She had built herself a life while Danny had been gone. She had a great job, a tight knit group of friends, and a truly wonderful cat. She had taught herself to be happy on her own, and that was an accomplishment to be proud of. Standing in front of her was her past, and she had been given the option to decide her future.

"Danny... I can't. I've got a life here, and... You left that life a long time ago."

Danny looked shocked. Then, he started to laugh.

"Ahh, I get it, you always were funny--but really, where do you want to go?"

"What? No, I wasn't--" Tara sighed. "Look, it's been years since I last even heard from you. I can't go back to that time all of a sudden whenever you have a moment for me. My answer's no. Happy New Year." Tara turned to walk up the steps and got halfway before Danny's voice rang out in response.

"I figured you would have changed since I saw you last, but I didn't realize it would be this much. What happened to you?" He was on the attack now, hoping to engage her in her own defense.

She shrugged. Tears weren't coming, she didn't feel that emptiness that had plagued her long after he left, and truth be told, she was just tired. "I grew up. It looks like you didn't."

Tara walked up the stairs, through the door, locked the door, and slumped down on the ground. Her cat, Rama, crawled into her lap, content with Tara's choice of seating.

Tara smiled, scratched the cat behind the ears, and gently placed him back on the ground so she could get a cat treat for him. The clock rang out midnight, and Tara smiled. Closure in the dying year, opportunity in the new. She took an old ring off her finger, smiled, and tossed it in the trash. As things were meant to be.

*****

Author's Note: After being fairly fed up with how Indian women are treated in the Epics, I wanted to write a story where a woman in a position similar to Sakuntala's position has the final say and chooses to be on her own, because that's where she needs to be right now. I'm a firm believer in the idea that only you are responsible for your own happiness, and I wanted to convey that through a story. Tara is Sakuntala's analog, while Danny mirrors Dushmanta. Tara's got an unglamorous life, but Danny is a rich jetsetter who sweeps her off her feet. In the original story, Sakuntala takes Dushmanta back after he not only leaves her and forgets to send someone back for her (albeit because of a curse) but also refuses her while she's with child in his court. Sakuntala also has a ring that Dushmanta gave her, which is hinted at in the last paragraph where Tara gets rid of a ring. As far as the image, I wanted something to give that warm fuzzy feeling that comes with New Years, but nothing too specific.

Devee, Sunity. Nine Ideal Indian Women. 1919

Week 10: Reading Diary B

"Shaibya With Her Dead Child" from Wikimedia Commons

Shaibya, like most women in the Indian Epics I've read so far, has a hard life. She and her husband are in love and have a wonderful existence until Harischandra dares to help some of the fairy-humans he found, and then for the entire rest of the story right up until the end, Bishwamitra is the worst. Just the worst. He ousts Harischandra from his throne and takes over, and demands 1000 gold pieces to be paid to him, but won't let Harischandra use his own money for it. 

Shaibya looks at this as an opportunity to show just how much she loves her husband, and promptly sells herself to be a slave. She takes her son, and Harischandra leaves to go be a slave himself.

Continuing to be awful, Bishwamitra refuses to take the money from Harischandra because of the caste system. 

To add to their sorrows, Shaibya's son apparently dies, and she has no money for cremation. She and Harischandra are reunited, and it is revealed that all of their sorrows have been a test for Harischandra to prove that he's... Sad enough? Willing to kill himself if his son dies? I don't really get it. 

The main point that I got from this story is that the ideal wife has super, super pure love for her husband, and forgives him always. Shaibya's defining characteristic here is her love for her husband and her son. I think the reason I find Draupadi so interesting as a character is that she's much more complex than a lot of the 'ideal' women I've been reading about. Although Savitri was also pretty cool. They're all good, but they definitely all have a very common theme between them.

Week 10: Reading Diary A

"Śakuntalā Looking Back to Glimpse Dushyanta" from the Wikipedia article about Shakuntala

This week I chose to continue reading Nine Ideal Indian Women by Sunity Devee.

The first section of the reading, focused on Sakuntala, was probably one of my favorite stories I've read so far. The first part of the story was interesting, where Sakuntala's father was becoming too powerful because he was so good at abstaining from all human needs. When people noticed this, they immediately tried to figure out how to trip him up. This is not one of those times where people are revered for being awesome, it's a time when people who are awesome are constantly tripped up by people who are less awesome. I get that.

The main storyline was about Sakuntala and her lover, Dushmanta. Finally, finally, there's a story where the woman has the higher moral ground, and I love it. Sakuntala and Dushmanta fall madly in love, but he heads back to the kingdom and says he'll send someone back for her. Unfortunately, before that can happen, Sakuntala accidentally ignores a hermit and he curses her by making Dushmanta forget who she is. General chaos ensues, but the main point is that Sakuntala gets the moral high ground and Dushmanta has to come beg for her forgiveness. Unlike every time a wife has done something mildly wrong and then gets banished for it, Sakuntala takes Dushmanta back in a heartbeat. I approve of her being a generally good person, and then she turns into the greatest queen India ever saw, which is also pretty great.

Week 9: Review

My favorite part of the announcements this week was this picture from the Saturday Announcements.

I chose it, and particularly liked it, because in my Electronics Lab class one of the things we had to remind ourselves of over and over is that "circuits are not magic." My lab partner and I are still a little convinced that they are.

Week 9: Tech Tip: SoundCloud Embedded

This is one of my favorite song mashups, so I thought I'd share for my tech tip this week!

Week 9: Curation

On one of our first dates after going long distance, my SO and I got palak paneer at a really great Indian restaurant. This doesn't relate strictly to this class, I suppose, but it is delicious and Indian, so!

 

Okay I didn't realize that the first two of mine were food related, but I didn't realize that chai tea is originally from India! I recently fell in love with chai tea, and I'm excited to explore more about it!

And here's a handy dandy chart for words that can replace 'went' in writing! Woo!

Week 9: Reading Feedback

Cat picture posted on Flickr by Paul Anderson

For my reading feedback this week, I needed a picture that accurately showed how my semester is going. If anyone's wondering, it's exactly like this.

To prove my point- this week I only managed to do one Reading Diary post. This is actually a little heartbreaking for me, because I generally shoot for perfection... When I sat down on my couch to do my reading Monday night, it was a little chilly, and so I grabbed a blanket, opened up my computer, and promptly fell asleep.

Fortunately, I was able to get my Tuesday reading done on time, and so I read Nine Ideal Indian Women, the section about Savitri and Damayanti and really, really enjoyed it. I love having the choice to explore options in the second half of the semester, especially because I don't have much time to fit in reading for pleasure in my schedule. Reading for this class turns out to be the much needed break I usually need from technical classes. Now that I'm choosing what I'm reading, it's that much better!

I also didn't mind reading on my computer this week for Nine Ideal Indian Women. Sometimes, the free options trumps personal preferences, and this was definitely one of those times. I'd like to read for the week tonight so I don't have as much to worry about during the week, and next week I'll be back to outline how that went!

Week 9: Storytelling

Image from Wikimedia Commons

"You have one year. The subject is difficult, and you are our best. Do you accept?"

The slight figure of a woman took her time answering. 

"You say he is difficult, why is that?" She queried the men sitting at the desk across from her, both of them dressed in conservative but sleek suits. 

"He's flawless. A good man, wise, just, and kind. Wouldn't hurt a fly, but protective of his own," the man on the left answered. His voice was gruff and raspy. He had done much of the talking so far, leaving the man on the right to observe.

"I don't see the problem here. Why are you after him if he's such a saint?"

The man on the right finally replied, in a soft voice, that was somehow more menacing than the man on the left.

"He knows too much. That's all you need."

The woman nodded in tense agreement. "He'll be dead in twelve months."

*****

The woman, Savitri, was one of the world's best assassins, so, naturally, no one knew who she was. She had been trained from a young age in the arts, sciences, and literature, progressing from a child prodigy to a brilliant woman in her prime. Her task was to mitigate the threat posed by Satyavan's knowledge, and ultimately, this would result in his death.

On day one of her mission, she found him. He wasn't difficult to track and didn't seem to be hiding anything. She planted herself near a fountain in the park she had followed him to, and waited to make her move. She would flirt, he would fall for her, and then the rest would be easy, which is what she thought until Satyavan met her gaze across the fountain.

Unfortunately, Savitri hadn't planned on actually liking Satyavan. Usually, she had no problem emotionally ignoring the men that crossed her path--her ambitions let her ignore any delusions of romanticism she may have, but when she had seen his face... There was electricity. More than a spark, a lightning strike, as if Zeus himself had struck where the two had been standing.

*****

Three months in. Nine to go, and Savitri, for the first time in her life, was truly happy. She was taking a walk, reflecting on how things had changed. Satyavan and she had hit it off when they first met, started dating within the week. Books were fine and science was always there, but neither were very good conversational partners, and neither were able to give you their jacket during a cold New York afterno-

"Update, Savitri." A raspy voice buzzed in her ear, via a near invisible earpiece that she used to check in with headquarters--though it was usually the other way around.

"You can't seriously expect me to give you an update every time you ask. It's been two days, at the most. Things are the same. Still working."

"Are they? I have sources saying you're looking pretty cozy." The blood drained from Savitri's face. She couldn't trust anyone. 

"Yes," she hissed, "everything is fine!"

"It had best be, or we'll find someone who can carry out the job." A click signaled the end of the call.

Everything was not fine. 

*****

Six months. Halfway. Engagement. Love, tears, ecstasy, anguish, a ring. A lie.

As she was saying yes, Savitri knew what awaited her at the end of the next six months, and her blood ran cold at the thought of it. The agents were right when they said had given her a difficult case. Difficult indeed, and tangled now. 

*****

Four months later, they were wed. Savitri had cut her hair short, leaving the characteristic long raven hair behind her, opting for red color in a becoming bob. The slow process of changing an identity, making gradual alterations in order to make them seem normal. Married life was bliss, and yet every new day Savitri marched towards her deadline, and Satyavan's doom. 

The day after the knot was tied, Savitri almost let the cat out of the bag, but caught herself in time. She hadn't checked in with the agents in weeks now, and was sure there was someone almost as good as her coming after the both of them, someone who would make the smarter decision to not fall in love with either party.

She had an idea, and as long as she could stay three steps ahead of everyone else, the idea just might work.

"Satyavan, love, how do you feel about camping?"

*****

Twelve months to the day. Exactly a calendar year, and the sun was setting, and Savitri had never been more anxious or more exhilarated. She ran ahead on the trail, leading him back to camp. They had almost made it. They were so close, and they were finally going to make it, and she would leave her life of deciet and come clean to her wonderful husb-

There was the sound of a body crumpling to the ground behind her and she whirled around and sprinted to catch him. 

A voice in her ear cut through her silent sobs with the quiet, deadly seriousness that made her shiver. 

"Until next time, Savitri."

-----

Author's Note: I based my story on the story of Savitri, but gave it a twist. In the original, Savitri is well educated and a princess, and falls in love with Satyavan, who is given a year to live due to unforseen circumstances. They marry and are generally wonderful until the two of them go to gather firewood on Satyavan's foreseen death date, and he dies. When Death comes to take Satyavan, Savitri's devotion and intelligence tricks Death into letting Satyavan live. I wondered what it would be like if Savitri was given some secret mission to kill Satyavan, but fell in love with him instead. Not my best work, but pretty good for what a really rough week it's been. I wanted to save the outsmarting death part for my storybook, so this is what I went with instead! The song credit for the week is O Children by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.

Devee, Sunity. Nine Ideal Indian Women. 1919

Week 9: Reading Diary B (A)

Image of Savitri and Satyavan courtesy Wikipedia

Savitri: Savitri is a young princess who grows up in a time where women are educated and seen as wise, and so she is taken to ashrams and other places as a child, where she learns much, because she is meant to be the heir to her father's throne. She pulls a classic Disney Princess when she sees her literal 'Prince Charming' and falls immediately in love. I find it really interesting that all of the Indian stories I've read so far, there's at some point a couple (or four) falling in love and being exiled, or sent to the forest for some reason. I'm not sure if this is a common theme because it shows patience and generally good values from the rulers, or if it just happens a lot. Either way, Savitri is our protagonist, and eventually her pure love for her prince makes Death let go of him, and Death promises that she will never be a widow.

Damayanti: Alright, I've just about had it with these men doing something ridiculous like gambling their life and wife away and then wondering if she's been pure the whole time. It's a double standard, and I'm not a fan. It's showed up in almost everything I've read so far--the husband and wife get separated, usually due to something silly the husband does, and then when he finally manages to crawl back to her it's suddenly on her! Terrible.

Past that, Damayanti is a solid character. She's pretty lovey-dovey, but I appreciate that she has a brain and is willing to get out of the forest, and to take care of herself, and devise a plot to get her husband back to her. Still, too often are these wives throwing themselves on a funeral pyre or asking gods to take their lives in exchange for proving to the man that they're pure.

Still bitter.

Week 8: Curation

I'm a sucker for tables and reference charts, and finding them for chakras has been fun! I'm a fairly habit-driven person, and I like having things to do with my hands to keep my mind occupied sometimes.

 

This pin is a quick guide to feudal nobility--which will be handy if I write for that time period in the upcoming weeks! It links to a chart on Dan Koboldt's website, that has a lot of useful facts about titles for people of status in nobility.



Look at this elephant. How happy is this elephant! I'm enjoying including elephant pictures in my curation assignments. So here he is.

Week 8 Review

Logo from the Great Language Game

While I've been working on my assignments for the class, I wanted to take a break, so I used five minutes or so to play the Great Language Game! I got up to 400 points in three lives- I was doing alright until they started giving me four and five options to pick from! Definitely going to bookmark this and use it as a stress reliever for the next week.

Week 8: Reading Plan

Image of The Palace of Illusions book from the Indian Epics reading page

Tentatively, for my reading plan, I'd like to choose several shorter books that allow me to get the most variety out of reading. That said, I also just stumbled upon some books that look really interesting. Maybe I'll have to keep this page bookmarked for future even when I'm not in the class anymore!

I'd like to start with the Ideal Indian Women book, by Sunity Devee. There are at least two weeks in there, and they focus on a couple different women, so I think it would be a good pick in terms of my storybook.

I think The Missing Queen by Samhita Arni would be a good choice too! I really enjoyed reading the Ramayana, and would like to delve deeper into more retellings of it. This would be another two weeks, and while I've already written about Sita in my storybook, I think the material from the previous reading would be enough to keep me going while I read this.

Lastly, The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Divakaruni seems really interesting and like something I would enjoy reading. This is four weeks worth of material, but I think I could keep reading on it after the class ended! 

Between those three, I think that will serve me well for the rest of the semester.

Week 8: Reflections: Looking Forward

Personal photo of me signing our studio's dance floor after my last class. 

There are a few more things I'd like to accomplish in this class going forward, and several that I think I can do better.

First, I'd like to get assignments in before the grace period more often... I abuse it a little too much, I think, but sometimes with projects and homework assignments and tests, I tend to put this class off until the last second. I've started doing better with the grace period, but I think there's still plenty of room for improvement.

Second, I'd like to put a little more time into the reading and writing. Sometimes I wait until late at night and don't always get my best work in, but can usually get up and edit the next morning or a couple days after.

I think I've done a pretty good job of keeping up with the class as a whole, making sure to at least do a little bonus each week, even when I'm swamped.

I would really like to finish this class early, and I think I've plotted out my finish time to be somewhere in the middle of week 11. That would mean I had about four weeks to dedicate purely to my other classes, and that would be a huge help. I really love the structure of the class because we're allowed to finish early, and there are tons of ways to facilitate doing so.

My motivational picture is of myself signing my dance studio's floor, a tradition that all seniors (high school) got to take part in the night of their last dance class. I chose that as my motivational picture because it was something that I had worked hard at for a really long time, and was excited to put a 'completed' bow on. I can't wait for that feeling in May.

Here's to the rest of the semester!

Week 8: Tech Tip

This week for my Tech Tip I added the weather widget to my blog! I've carefully thought about my favorite weather for a long time, and I've decided that the ideal weather is when it's a tiny bit cloudy but mostly sunny on slightly chilly days in the spring and fall. It's specific, but it also happens two seasons out of the year, so I get double the favorites! My least favorite type of weather has to be when there are tornados--not because they're scary or anything, but because they're serious enough to either wake me up at two in the morning or interrupt any plans I had for that evening.

Week 8: Reflections: Looking Back

Screenshot of my new and improved bookmark bar!

Week eight, halfway through already! I think this is like the montage episode in a long running sitcom. Here's some montage music (Diner by Martin Sexton) to accompany you if you read this post. Here we go!

Writing: I've written a couple stories so far, but I think my best work yet was the Week 4: Storytelling, which detailed Sita's last moments on Earth. My favorite story to write, however, was the story I wrote just last week, Week 7: It's Only Fair. The first one elicited a fairly emotional response from me while I was writing it, and after that I tried to write some lighter stuff. I finally succeeded with a light story three weeks later, which was cool! I tend to gravitate to the heavier stuff, so it was nice to try and flex my comedic muscles a little.

Reading: Oh, hands down, my favorite reading was the graphic novel in week four, Sita: Daughter of the Earth. I think Sita's been my favorite character so far, closely followed by Draupadi.

Interactions: One thing I know I've really failed on so far is replying to comments- I want to have conversations with people, but that's one of the things that gets pushed and pushed until I forget or really don't have time. I might try to go back and reply to the ones that asked questions before the year is out! I love getting to know people through their writing and comments, though, it's one of my favorite parts about the class!

Time: As the semester goes on, I'm getting better at using this class as sort of a 'break' between assignments, instead of doing it as the last thing of the day from 11 p.m. to 1 a.m., and that's been going well! I just finished up an assignment for Computer Architecture, and before I start on my next math-intensive project, I'm writing this to let my brain decompress a little. The quality of my writing is far better when I'm not falling asleep while typing...

Location: I usually write for this class at home, but have started writing more at the Engineering Practice Facility (EPF), generally because those are the two places I frequent. I do most of my work at the EPF, so it follows naturally that I'd work on this class here too!

Growth Mindset: I started Growth Mindset back up next week with a fairly low-key meme post, and I'm looking forward to doing more! I've really been trying to incorporate the new Mindset into how I work, and it's actually been helping me. Onwards and upwards!

Curation: Okay. I was a TOTAL bookmark non-believer until this class, and now bookmarks have become an integral part of my life. Go figure. I have everything set up nicely, exactly how I like it... I've been converted, and I love it.

Week 7: Backup and Review

Growth Mindset Meme from Sunday Announcements

I think this cat understands my life. Going into this year, I knew it would be a tough couple semesters, but I didn't realize how difficult it would be. It's been a haul, but it's also been worth it. It's important to remember how much this semester has meant to me, and also to stop and give myself a pat on the back sometimes for the hard work I've been doing. Not that I remember to do that very often, but when I do it's a good reminder that I can take time for myself every now and then.

Also, as for an event coming up- this Saturday, October 17th from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m., Soonerthon, Engineers' Club, and Triangle are holding an Extra Life event! Extra Life is a gaming marathon charity event where people gather donations, and then play video games for a long period of time to raise money for the Children's Miracle Network Hospitals. It's a testament to the social impact gamers have, and a way to give back to the community. If anyone's interesting in being a part of it, it's located in Sarkeys Energy Center rooms 360/370, and the team link to start fundraising is located here! If you just want to come out and play video games, it's $5 at the door and we'll have FREE Hideaway Pizza. It's a great cause, I'm super excited, and it's open to all students at OU! 

Week 7: Famous Last Words

Sleeping Students image from Wikimedia Commons

Well, it's officially midterm season, and all of my classes are in high gear. I got up early this morning to get in all the extra credit for this class this week, and seeing as I'm on the last two assignments, that's gone pretty well for me! I still have to do my Project story, but that's on the agenda for this afternoon. Surprisingly, I kept up in this class last week, even with two midterms and a fair number of homework assignments looming over my head. I don't have any tests this week, but I do have at least three projects due, and so it's looking to be another busy one. 

This semester I've really begun to understand the concept of taking on too much. Between being E-Club President, TA-ing for a course, taking two graduate level electives and two major classes besides that, I'm doing everything I can to keep my head above water. Little things seem to keep popping up, and some other things slip through the cracks. A secret between you and me, dear blog readers; I'm a little excited for my fifth year, when I'm not planning to be involved in as much so I can focus on my schoolwork and maybe have a little time to myself. 

But I'm also trying hard to remember to enjoy this year, because it's my last year of undergrad, and even though it's busy and really tough and wearing me thin, it's a blast, and once I'm out of college, I won't have an experience exactly like this again. College is a weird time-warped place that has a very specific atmosphere that doesn't exist outside of campuses, and I'm so glad my time here has been as crazy and busy as it has. Mostly, anyway! Sometimes it would be nice to have a little extra sleep.

I realized I started rambling, so I'll wrap it up here. Here's to another successful week!

Edit: I finished the blog post and forgot about a couple things I wanted to write about.

1. I really, really enjoyed writing my story this week. Usually mine clock in near or at 1000 words, and are serious and emotional and just not always too fun to write when I'm already pretty stressed out. This week I chose to write a really lighthearted story, and had a blast! It was closer to 700 words, and was much more lighthearted and fun. 

2. This week I started reading a take on Harry Potter called Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. It's really long, but it exists in podcast form, so when I've been driving or doing mindless tasks, I've taken to listening to it, and it's fantastic! Anyone who's interested in science and wants to know what Harry Potter would be like if he grew up with a scientist for a dad instead of a jerk, read more here. I recommend it!

Week 7: Tech Tip

New about me link, screenshot from personal blog

This week my tech tip was the Blogger Profile tip. Previously I had had just an HTML/JavaScript widget that had a picture of myself and a quote from Harry Potter, but letting Blogger put my profile together makes the whole thing much cleaner!

As for my online identity, I strive to keep a personal, but professional image. It sounds silly, but in engineering, we start looking for jobs and internships as early as sophomore year, and it's important to not have anything connected to you online that may put off a potential employer. When Facebook introduced the 'On This Day' feature, I actually started using it to delete the embarrassing stuff I posted way back when I was in middle school... I've also made sure that all of my settings are on private, not only for employers, but because I don't particularly want complete strangers having access to all of my information. Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, if it's connected to me, I make sure my security settings are high.

I know, I'm a bucket of fun. Better safe than sorry though!

Week 7: Curation Spaces

This week I finally have the time and the motivation to do one of my favorite extra credit blog posts, the curation spaces.

Image of Bride having hands painted with henna, from weddingpartyapp.com

First up we have a really gorgeous henna design I found on Pinterest- I love henna, and even got a small henna tattoo on my wrist at the Tulsa fair this weekend! I've always been in love with the temporary-permanent nature of henna. The commitment of tattoos scares me, so henna is the perfect compromise!

The Om symbol breakdown, from Sivana Spirit blog

Here's a good guide to breaking down the Om symbol, and seeing what everything means! I see this quite a lot when trying to curate things for this class, and now I have a handy graphic that tells me what each part of the symbol means. The rest of the blog seems pretty cool too, though I haven't had much of a chance to look deeper into it.

Elephant Calf 'Nunai' at the Animal Welfare Rehabilitation Center in Assam, India, from India Incredible Tumblr

There isn't much special significance behind this picture, except that it's a wonderfully cute baby elephant at a rescue center in India, and I thought it might bring a smile to someone's face! It definitely did to mine!

Week 7: Growth Mindset

Growth Mindset Meme from Growth Mindset Memes Blog

This week I decided to do the meme challenge as a reintroduction to the Growth Mindset challenges. For a long time, my approach to change was to do it all at once. Change the exercise routine, change food, change how I study, and surely if I did all that today, tomorrow I would be the new fancy version of Claire, the one that not only had her life together, but also got eight hours of sleep at night and had time to do her hair in the morning.

This does not work. It's a struggle for me to get more than six hours of sleep per night, and I throw my hair in a bun more days than I'd like to admit, I don't always get to run or work out, and sometimes it's just easier to grab a handful of whatever snack is in my cabinet than to make a healthy dinner for myself. Whenever I try to change my life in one go, I end up burnt out and irritated, and I stop doing anything I meant to do to try and change things. 

Finally, and recently, I've learned that the only way anything will happen is if I do it in small, small steps. I'm not going to change how my entire life operates in one day, and if I try to do that, it won't go well for anyone. Instead, I've started implementing small things, and trying not to make myself feel guilty if I don't do the change one day. The important part is to get up the next and keep going. 

I really identify with this cat. Little steps, baby kitten. Little steps.

Week 7: Reading Feedback

Image of a book on a laptop, from Pixabay

This week I read from an online source, since I usually avoid reading on my computer screen like the plague. As expected, I did have a harder time focusing, and since I tend to do my reading late at night (entirely my fault) my eyes were more tired after reading on my computer than normal. Part of me wanted to go back and read a graphic novel at the library again, but having two midterms last week, I just didn't have the time. I live on the opposite side of campus, and trudging over to the library and back takes a good chunk of time. I hope to get back over there at least once or twice this semester though, because I've forgotten how much I used to love studying at the library when I was closer by. 

I read the Five Tall Sons of Pandu this week, and I really enjoyed that selection. It was much less focused on the supernatural of the Pandava brothers, and looked a lot closer at relationships and how human emotions played with and off each other. I don't think I read it as closely as I wanted to, mostly because of midterms, but the reading took me a couple hours anyway. Combined with the time it took me to go back and read after the fact, I think the reading length was perfect. I'm interested to read more from Wilson, because his writing had such a great flow to it. 

Overall, it was a good reading week for me! Reading Narayan's version of the Mahabharata took me a lot longer, because it felt like it was so stuffed with characters that I just couldn't keep track of them all. Wilson's fixed that problem without leaving much out, and I was glad I chose to read it.

Storytelling Week 7: It's Only Fair

What Arjun probably looked like, or, Grumpy Cat, from Wikimedia

Twelve years.

Twelve years the brothers had waited in exile, and a thirteenth was before them, though they had the luxury of reentering civilized society, even though it had to be under false identities. The brothers were busy creating their new identities, sitting around a campfire in the woods on the last day of their exile, but Arjun was lost in thought. Sure, it would be fine to last one more year, they had already done twelve, but couldn't they just go to war now? Or at least go talk to family again? At least do something besides this wretched sitting around and waiting. And finding new identities, of course. Arjun thought the whole idea was rather unfortunate, but he went along with it, until...

"And Arjun, you'll have to dress as a woman. There's really no other way around it." Yudhisthira brought Arjun out of his deep thought, causing him to stammer.

"Wh- wait, no, hold on, I didn't hear what everyone else was going to be! I need a recap!" Arjun, being the great warrior that he was, would dress in something a little more relevant to his profession for a year than using his slight, wiry frame to pose as the fairer sex.

"If you had been listening, you wouldn't need one." Yudhisthira tutted and looked as to go on with the conversation, as if the matter were settled.

"No- but- okay, so I wasn't listening, fine, could you still tell me who's being what?" Arjun pleaded with his older brother, knowing Yudhisthira would have to give in eventually.

After a long pause, Yudhisthira agreed.

"Alright, but you have to listen this time, because I really don't feel like going over it again."

"I'm listening, I'm listening!" Arjun folded his hands in his lap and peered at his brother attentively.

"Alright. For obvious reasons, those being that I'm the oldest and smartest, I'm going to act as a Brahmin." Yudhisthira seemed particularly pleased with himself about this decision.

"Ah, yes, it seems only fair that you'd get first pick since you're the one that got us into this anyway," Arjun shot back at his brother.

"Hey! One moment of weakness!" Yudhisthira paused, regained his composure, and continued.

"Bhima will be a cook. He's the best of all of us, and the kitchen is a natural place for him to hear any secrets or whisperings of Duryodhana or if people have discovered us."

Arjun shrugged. Bhima looked particularly excited about his new profession as a cook, which was fair enough, as the rest of the brothers together couldn't put together a dinner if their life depended on it, which it rarely did.

"Nakula and Sahadeva will keep the horses and cattle, respectively. They're twins, and near indistinguishable from each other, so this is only fitting. We're running out of jobs and the twins need to mirror each other or they get fussy." Yudhisthira smiled forgivingly at the twins, who, to their character, were not paying any more attention then Arjun had been originally.

"So that leaves you, and as we're completely out of other jobs for you to do, you'll need to teach music and dancing and you'll be go much more unnoticed in that role if your gender is at least a little ambiguous."

"No but there are plenty of other jobs! I could train young princes, perhaps, or be Bhima's sous chef, even be a jester! There are at least twelve things I could do instead," Arjun argued. He was a little exasperated,  seeing as he was the middle brother and yet seemed to get job least suited to him.

"Heck, I could help Nakula with the cattle!" Arjun begged his brother. He didn't know the first thing about music, and had two left feet when it came to dancing.

"That would be impossible," Yudhisthira said sagely.

"Why, that's entirely possible!" Arjun was at the end of his rope. He barely even sang in the shower, much less in front of people, and he wasn't about to give lessons to anyone!

"No. Couldn't do it. Nakula has the horses, you see, so helping him with the cattle would be completely futile. Besides, I'm older, and you have to do what I say. So practice your scales and your twirls, because you'll be convincing someone you're excellent at these tomorrow morn. Remember, we must all make sacrifices."

Arjun complied, but only because Yudhisthira had played the ultimate trump card. As he went to sleep that night, he muttered, and eventually had dreams of the days to come... He could be heard even into the wee hours of the night, grumbling, "...sacrifices...I'll tell you about sacrifices...." until Yudhisthira threw a branch in his direction and told him to shut it.

*****

Alright, a shorter, lighthearted story about that time the princes chose their professions and Arjun wasn't thrilled about having to be a music teacher. In reality though, everyone gets something generally suited towards what they do, and I thought it would be amusing if Arjun pitched a fit about what he had to spend a year doing. If I'm feeling inspired, I might write a follow up when the story comes up again. Maybe I'll find a way to work it into my storybook... Though that would be the tiniest bit subversive. We'll see! Honestly, this was the first time a story I've written hasn't been paired with a specific song, and that's because the song I was writing to pertains in no way whatsoever to the subject matter at hand. It's a Christmas song, and that's all that matters. I think this was also the first story I tried to be a little more comedic than usual, and I hope that worked out all right! I hope you enjoyed, and that your week goes smoothly from here on out!


"The Five Tall Sons Of Pandu" by Richard Wilson, from The Indian Story Book (1914). Web Source: The Internet Archive

Week 7: Reading Diary B

Bhishma laying on a bed of arrows. 

Today I finished up reading the Five Tall Sons of Pandu by Wilson, which was a pretty quick and easy read. However, first we need to talk about how it wasn't until I saw this image did I get that Bhishma was laying on a bed of horizontal arrows, not vertical ones. This confused me for a long time. But now I get it. Horizontal arrows. Not... Not like a bed of spikes. Got it. That would have been pretty painful. Honestly wasn't sure how he was still alive after that long besides the fact that he was essentially immortal. Fortunately, we're clear now.

What mostly struck me about this week was how bitter Duryodhana was towards the sons of Pandu. Multiple times he had quotes about how he had hated them all this time, and would continue to hate them... It ended up being a really interesting perspective on how hatred can turn someone into a shell of a person. 

I also really, really enjoyed how it was much more political this time instead of battlefield-strategic. In Narayan's edition, a lot of time was spent on how this commander did this formation, and how that worked, etc, and he even mentioned that he cut a lot of that out. This time, Wilson focused far more on the decision making process. I really liked to see how Krishna left it open to the brothers to decide if they should send a message of peace or go straight to war, with the opinion that a better answer will come from the crowd of wise princes, instead of just one. Krishna's smart enough to know that he doesn't know everything, and that he should let the princes figure this one out for themselves. 

I've got a couple things in mind to write about this week, and I'm excited to get to it tomorrow!

Week 7: Reading Diary A

Drona Trains the Princes, from the reading guide for this week

     I chose to read Wilson's Mahabharata this week, since the idea of the characters being stripped down to their bare human tendencies instead of their godly ones was really interesting to me.

It ended up reading quite a bit easier than Narayan's did. There was a lot less time spent, thus far, on explaining who was related to who and who went behind who's back, and while those are things that did eventually add to the story, I enjoyed this one far more. I think it's the difference between reading something like the Bible, which is fairly lineage focused, and reading something for plot and character development. I was much more in tune with the five princes this time around. Instead of feeling like the princes weren't entirely in the right, it made much more sense that the public rallied around them because they accepted their position and made the best of it.

The story overall was really focused on the characters and their motivations, which, as a former theatre person, is exactly what I like to think about. When I rewrite stories, more often than not it's about the characters and what's happening inside their minds as opposed to what's happening around them. This was much more moment focused, little happenings that turned the tide of things one way or another. 

One thing I noticed is the Draupadi-five husbands thing was really downplayed. I'm not sure it existed at all. Instead, Draupadi took her place beside Yudhisthir and that was that. Draupadi, in this, is the embodiment of fire. When someone comes to take her during the gambling game, she yells at them with the utmost dignity, and gets them to leave without doing anything. I love it. 

Week 6: Backup and Review

From Sunday's Announcements

My favorite part of the announcements this week was absolutely the Creativity graphic. I firmly believe that the one thing that has led me to be more creative as a person is admitting to myself and others that I don't know everything, and celebrating that. The world would be horribly, horribly dull if we knew everything! There's so much to find out still in the world, that I don't think I'll ever be bored. A mission I've been on through my college career has been learning to ask more questions, and not just assume I'll figure something out later. Sometimes it's still a little tough, but I've gotten so much better at it! I kind of want to print this out and hang it on my wall somewhere. Maybe I will!

Week 6: Famous Last Words

Empty stadium the Thursday before the game. Source: Personal photos

This week was a mish-mash of getting things done and putting things off.

I got my reading in on time this week, which was cool, but a Data Structures project due Monday evening made it impossible for me to do any bonus for this class for the second week in a row! I'm trying to finish up early so I can focus on my other four classes at the end of the semester, but it's getting tougher and tougher to get assignments done without using the grace period.

I wasn't thrilled with my writing this week, mostly because I had a fair bout of writer's block and wasn't feeling inspired by the Mahabharata. I also waited until late in the evening one night to write my project introduction, so there were more errors and inconsistencies than I really like to have in my stories. I tend to write really long stories as well, so I'm trying to pare those down as time goes on.

One thing I did manage was to get out to the stadium a couple times this week to run stairs, and I think I've found my new favorite form of exercise! I'm going to take advantage of the stadium being unlocked as long as I can, because I know it isn't normal to do that in most towns.

The Engineers' Club pre-game feed went really well this week too! We sold out of our breakfast burritos and had lots of people come out and say hi to us. If you're ever in the area on gameday, we're on the corner of Asp and Boyd, and we make truly delicious food, so come out and see what's up!

This week I've got two tests coming up, so I really need to buckle down and get work done... just like every other day of the semester. Such is the plight of the engineer, and everyone else having a hard semester!

Week 6: Canva Quote Tech Tip

Made on Canva

I've been wanting a new wallpaper for my computer, and I chose to use one of my favorite quotes from John Steinbeck's East of Eden (on my reading list, but haven't read it yet!) and I think it turned out pretty well!

Week 6 Storytelling: Come Up For Air

Ocean stock photo from Pexels

Have you ever choked? Not on your food or anything, I mean like when you're presented with some big decision and it feels like everything is riding on that moment and all of a sudden your brain shuts down and of all the words you know, you can string together maybe five in a row to form a semi-coherent sentence?

"Uh- I- no, I- I can't do- no."

Yeah, that was a good one. You tell 'em, Yudhi. At least there were five different words there, even if they didn't make a real sentence.

What was I supposed to do? What does anyone do in that situation? You're asked to be king, to take the throne from the half of the family that your side just slaughtered, that's not a decision that anyone can take lightly. So I ran. I guess I decided before it all started, but I didn't get it. I didn't have blood on my hands. I ran further.

I honestly thought I could take half the kingdom back without spilling blood. I knew that wars had happened before, but there had to be something else that could be done. It was through a fault of one of the parties controlling the battlefield, controlling the assets, controlling something too large for them to deal with, that death ever came. They must have been quick to temper, or impatient, or unfair. It couldn't have been inevitable.

I came into this position and thought, 'yeah, I can handle this. I can rule better than those before me, and I can do it with one hand tied behind my back'. It's not a matter of how likeable or reasonable or fair someone is. Some people will refuse to see your way and that's it. It's time to fight. No such thing as talking it out, or compromising. It's all or nothing.

Then....then it's your kin on the line. It's your friends, your family, the people who have known you since you were a child but have wronged you in some way--but shouldn't there still be some provision? Shouldn't they, at least, listen to reason? Or have some respect for the boundaries between family and politics?

I'm telling you this because I need reassurance that it was reasonable for me to bolt. That when I tripped over myself to get out the door, it was expected. It shouldn't surprise anyone at my need to leave the room, to get somewhere that wasn't so confining, where the walls couldn't close in. When I stuttered words as their hands moved towards the crown, that everyone saw it coming.

I made it as far as the beach without stopping.

Breathing hard, as hard as I had in battle just a few days earlier, if not harder, the weight of what was happening hit me and my breaths got shorter, catching in my chest and sitting there, irregular beats on a drum with the mismatch pounding of my heart. I grasped fistfulls of sand, comforted by the silky-scratchy feel, letting myself form fists, then letting it sift through my fingers, then a fist again, then through my fingers.

I shuddered as my breaths drew more regular. I had no idea if I could be a good king. All my life had been a mess, leading from one place to another. I knew that I could be a pretty great nomad, but I wasn't sure about anything else. Getting a few members of your family to follow you around is one thing, but leading an entire country? That was the tough part. How do you get respect, how do you make decisions, or judgements, and how do you reconcile being a firm king, yet one who encourages creativity, a good natured king who is tough on criminals...

There wasn't ever a good answer, except that I almost knew I couldn't be the right choice.

I looked up at the night sky, past the clouds and into the stars.

I felt small. And feeling small--well, it felt good.

I think I'll stay a while.

********

Author's Note: This week, the accompanying song is Miracle Mile, by the Cold War Kids. Truly great song, and once again, was on repeat while I was writing. I wanted to explore further Yudhisthira's moment of insecurity after they win the battle, and expand on it, so that's what I did. I didn't change the setting or bring in many characters, because I really wanted to look at self doubt and what it does to a person. This brought up some interesting quandaries that I've been having with myself recently, and it was good to take a look at those in writing and make changes based on that.

The Mahabharata, by R. K. Narayan (1978). Web Source: Reading Guide.

Week 6 Reading Diary B

Merciless killing of Abhimanyu, from Wikipedia

Today, I finished up the last quarter of Narayan's Mahabharata. This reading really, really reminded me of the Lord of the Rings series, as well as Game of Thrones, though a little less of the latter. A solid chunk of the reading today was edited out because it was too battle and strategy heavy, as noted in a footnote, and yet it was still very much focused on the battle. A lot of the text came from who was fighting who, if they had died yet, when they died, why they died, the long journey to their current standpoint...

That said, there was still a lot of good material there. Yudhisthira continually makes me question his ability to be king, but it makes a lot more sense as we're dealing with half-god, half-men, instead of in the last epic, where Rama was flawless. It's interesting to see the parallels between the stories, both heir apparents ousted from their place of being into exile for a long time, and then fighting a battle and resuming their throne.

It's also really interesting that the wives consistently get treated incredibly poorly. Sita was also a goddess incarnate, and therefore flawless, and Rama was fairly terrible to her after they left exile. Similarly, Draupadi does nothing but sticks her neck out for her men, and gets absolutely nothing in return. Like, she yells at them every now and then. And that's it.

I feel like every week this just turns more and more towards me being entirely indignant for the women in the epics. They're awesome, awesome characters, and yet they're treated like cardboard cutouts for the men to enjoy but not worry about past that.